Who killed my baby's father?
PUBLISHED: 16:59 06 May 2010 | UPDATED: 11:45 12 August 2010
CRADLING the baby her soulmate never got to meet, the devastated fiancée of an assassination victim has spoken for the first time about life without him.
CRADLING the baby her "soulmate" never got to meet, the devastated fiancée of an assassination victim has spoken for the first time about life without him.
Kelly Musgrove is so saddened by the loss of her partner - Coney Hall football club manager Ryan Musgrove - she says she would have committed suicide had she not been pregnant.
Baby Ryan Carter was born seven months after a gunman emerged from the woods in Sparrows Den playing fields, West Wickham, in July last year and shot his 36-year-old dad in front of his team mates.
With no significant developments in the case, 29-year-old Ms Musgrove has launched a heart-felt plea to put the person responsible for his murder behind bars.
Speaking about the devastating effect of her fiancé's murder, she said: "The last nine months have been awful. The birth was horrendous. To not have Ryan there, I can't explain how that felt. It meant so much to him. If I close my eyes for long enough, I can see the look on his face, the smile when his little boy was brought into the world. We wanted a baby for so long, we were so excited."
The couple, who met 10 years ago, got engaged on a beach in Greece in 2005 and were planning to wed this summer.
The make-up artist is still trying to come to terms with the idea that she will not see her fiancé again.
She said: "I changed my name to Musgrove even though we never actually got married. I have to believe he's still here, that he's just popped out to football and he'll be back. That's what I tell myself. That's the only way I can deal with it. I still get two cups out the cupboard.
"My baby was a god send. I wouldn't be here without him. Ryan was my life, my soulmate. We were together for 10 years. I believe there is only one person you find in your life like that."
Reliving the moment she found out the electrician, who had two other children from a previous relationship, was dead, she said: "I got a phone call telling me Ryan had been shot and it was pretty bad, they said there was an air ambulance.
"When I found out he was dead, that he'd died at the scene I just fell to the floor and screamed.
"I can't remember much from that night, just bits- there was a really bad thunder storm and the police came- it's all a horrible blur.
"Knowing that the person who did this has not been caught makes it all the worse. They are walking the streets. They had Christmas dinner with their family - Ryan wasn't with me for mine." Now the beautician can only rely on memories that the couple shared to tell her baby about his dad.
She added: "I'll tell Ryan Carter how much Ryan wanted him, how much he loved him. He was an amazing dad to his other two children Saffron and Storm. They have lost their father and are not coping well. It's really hard for them because he spent a lot of time with them.
"I can remember his smile and his massive laugh - when we had an argument we could never stay mad at each other because we would just end up laughing."
Mr Musgrove died after being shot in the chest by the gunman who wore all black and a dust mask over his face. Police believe the murderer may have been stalking him for a week before he carried out the killing on July 16 after witnesses reported seeing him cycling around Sparrows Den.
Ms Musgrove said: "Whoever did this is a coward. There were innocent children there that day. Anyone can pull a trigger but it takes a man to confront to confront a man. I don't know what's happened with society. They have taken someone's life - was it worth it?
"How can they live with themselves? I know that someone out there knows something, people talk- how can they shoot someone then go home acting normally?
"They must have been acting suspiciously. They have taken away this lovely person, and left three devastated children and me, and more people. It has turned our world upside down.
"I want to know what it was all over. Was it intended for Ryan? I would have known if there was something troubling him. The day he was killed he was totally at ease. If something was wrong, Ryan would have told me about it. I just want someone with information to come forward."
The suspect was dressed in dark clothing. He was white and between 5ft10ins and 6ft 2ins, and wore a hat covering the whole of his head with large goggles and a white mask over the bottom half of his face. Police think he is aged between his late teens and mid 30s.
Anyone with information should contact police on 0208 721 4205 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.